her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i now understand why vodka
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
