Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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