My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
