Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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