oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
