you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize