I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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