It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
