Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so explain again why im purple
no
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
