loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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