You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
