white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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