ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
