I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
