why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
