In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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