my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
