Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
