I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
