we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
