what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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