He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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