Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
