She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am one with the molecules
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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