i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So much rum. So many feels.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
