You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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