i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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