: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
