why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
