The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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