My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
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He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
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Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.