I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.