Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow