I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature