By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
