We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
