Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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