I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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