guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
