Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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