Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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