I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
