Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
