all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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