He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
