Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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