It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
