3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
