Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
