xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
