WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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