I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
