Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
