she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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