meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
