Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
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Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
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Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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