I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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