How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
