so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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