no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
