Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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